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Jokes 'n Fun Joke-O-Matic

At Jokes 'n Fun.com we're constantly adding to our Master Joke List, which we keep hidden in the Joke Vault, safe from prying eyes. Then we realized how stupid that was, and we came up with the Joke-O-Matic to solve that problem. The Joke-O-Matic serves our jokes up a few at a time, nice and neat- no muss, no fuss. There are currently over 5,000 jokes in the Joke-O-Matic. To get more jokes just click the "More jokes please!" button below. You can also browse our jokes by category if you prefer.

 
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  • When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  • If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  • Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  • You can't trust dogs to watch your food.


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A man sees a woman joging down the street while throwing back her arms, pushing her chest out and repeating "I must, I must, increase my bust. Totally puzzled by this the man stops her.

MAN: Why are you doing that.

WOMAN: My doctor told me that doing this e . . .

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A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stol . . .

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